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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25710478">Day 02: Dad Jokes</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/HH_BlueDynamite/pseuds/HH_BlueDynamite'>HH_BlueDynamite</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Alastor Week 2020 [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Hazbin Hotel (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Bad Jokes, Cringe, Jokes</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 09:40:26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>987</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25710478</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/HH_BlueDynamite/pseuds/HH_BlueDynamite</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>I am not held responsible for any ailments caused by cringe. You are reading this at your own volition. Please enjoy.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Alastor Week 2020 [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1862839</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>39</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Day 02: Dad Jokes</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I kid you not, the day before I was aware of Alastor Week, I bought a Dad Joke book. I wonder if Ed has a book too, I've seen a couple of jokes he made on the HuniCast in the book, or he follows DadSaysJokes on Instagram and/or inserted his own jokes. Like, no joke. I'm reading through the book and several jokes Ed made were in here.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"To be honest, Charlie, I didn't think that Chuckle Night was going to be a huge hit," Vaggie said to her girlfriend. The two sat near the stage in the hotel's dining hall. Many of the hotel's patients sat at other tables, enjoying the jokes and skits made by their fellow patrons, though there are the occasional boos and snide remarks. While Charlie did some as constructive criticism, she'll sometimes deduct points for every nasty comment.</p><p>"See? Laughter can improve someone's mood," Charlie said. She looks over to another table. "Huni seems to like it too."</p><p>Over at said table, Huni Spice, a demon that looks like a light blue bunny plush with her right half more demonic, resembling a Danganronpa mascot, is laughing her head off. She snorts as she starts to lose air. Seating with her is her boyfriend, Kovi Cat, and Angel Dust.</p><p>"…She thinks everything is funny, doesn't she?" Angel asked Kovi.</p><p>"Pretty much," the turquoise cat smiled.</p><p>Another demon with a basketball for a head shrugged. "Eh, I've seen better. What do you think, Ellie?" The pink moth beside him looked unamused.</p><p>"It's Elsie. <em>Stop it</em>."</p><p>"I know, Eliza," Ed Ballsco smirked, loving the fumes coming out of Elsie's ears.</p><p>The audience clapped as the latest jokester left the stage. Then, a purple/green bat with glasses flies over to the standing mic. "That was a hoot was it? And I'm not just saying that 'cause she's owlicious!" The audience awkwardly laughs at the pun. "Now, for the main event! The one, the only, the Radio Demon, Alastooor~!" Some applause was made as the deer demon strut in and took Kellen's place.</p><p>"Ha-ha-ha! Thank you, Kellen!" Alastor thanked. He adjusted the mic stand a bit. "He such a good stagehand, is he not? But, don't get on his bad side. You'll make him go batty!" He chuckled. Huni giggled a little. "Enough of that now. Let's get on with the show! Excuse me if I seem rather drowsy. I waited and stayed up all night and tried to figure out where the Sun was. Then, it dawned on me."</p><p>"Ugh, fuck," Angel groaned.</p><p>Vaggie shrugged with a small smile. "Eh, I get it."</p><p>"What do you call four bullfighters standing in a quicksand?" Alastor asked before exclaiming, "Quatro Sinko!" Vaggie facepalms. "I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him," Alastor said, "Guess that's what I get for buying a pure bread."</p><p>"I thought you don't like dogs," Angel said.</p><p>"Hush. How did the hipster burn his tongue?" Alastor asked.</p><p>"…I don't know, how?" Angel asked.</p><p>"He ate his food before it was cool." There wasn't much laughter coming from the audience, but Alastor kept going. "The first picture of a black hole has been released. It sucks."</p><p>Huni giggles as Angel look unimpressed. "…That's not the only thing that sucks."</p><p>"Like you?" Ed said. Huni struggled to breathe.</p><p>"Why did the knight surrender once all his limbs were cut off?" Alastor asked.</p><p>"…Uh, Ain't it obvious?" Angel questioned.</p><p>"He was unarmed and defeated." Huni was turning red.</p><p>"Angel was reading a book about Lubricants. It's non-friction," Alastor joked. An explosion of laughter erupted from Huni. Charlie casts a confused glance at Angel.</p><p>"I thought I told you no erotic books," she said.</p><p>"I don't have a book about lubricants," Angel said before muttering, "It's a catalog."</p><p>"Not to brag, but I have incredible talent for predicting what's inside a wrapped present," Alastor started. "It's a gift."</p><p>"…Well, yeah dude. That's what it is," Angel pointed out.</p><p>"In an emergency, what is better than an EMT?"</p><p>"Mouth-to-mouth?"</p><p>"A pair-of-medics!" Huni tries to control her laughter. "I have some jokes about unemployment people, but none of them work." The poor bunny struggled hard. "Anna gave up her seat to a blind person on the bus."</p><p>"Aw, that's nice," Charlie said.</p><p>"That's how she lost her job as a bus driver." Huni fell out of her chair, laughing.</p><p>Angel looks at her weird. "…It's not even that funny."</p><p>Kovi puts a hand on his shoulder. "Just let her have her moment," Kovi said. "She had a hard day working on her sketches."</p><p>"Speaking of! The local caricature artist got arrested!" Alastor said. "He did always seem sketchy."</p><p>Huni climbs back into her seat. "Why…why does he know so many?" she wheezed.</p><p>"He stayed up all night, brainstormin'," Husk grunted. He woke up in the middle of the night to Alastor rehearsing in the lobby.</p><p>"Now, for my next act, I would like someone in the crowd to read from this card." Alastor shows a flashcard before making it disappear. It appeared in front of Charlie.</p><p>She picks it up. "What exactly is an acorn?" Charlie read.</p><p>"Well, in a nutshell it's an oak tree," Alastor answered. Huni starts wheezing.</p><p>For a moment, Charlie was confused before it dawned on her. "Oh, I get it!" She giggled and Vaggie smiles at her. Like Charlie, a card manifests before Elsie.</p><p>"A guy goes into a lawyer's office and asks…" Alastor started.</p><p>"Excuse me, how much do you charge?" Elsie read.</p><p>"I charge 1,000 pounds to answer three questions."</p><p>Elsie could see where this is going and smiles. "Bloody Hell, that's a bit expensive, isn't it?"</p><p>"Yes. What's your third question?" Alastor asked. At this point, Huni has her head on the table. Another card appears in front of her as she struggled to take in air.</p><p>"I need to call the doctor today," Alastor said.</p><p>"W-Which doctor?" Huni giggled.</p><p>"No, the regular kind," Alastor said. Huni slams her head back on the table as she roared in laughter hysterically.</p><p>"Well, ladies and gentlemen, it looks like time is up," Alastor said.</p><p>"Oh, thank God!" Angel groaned.</p><p>"But, before I go, I've got one more."</p><p>"NOO!"</p><p>"To the man who invented the number zero," Alastor started. "Thanks for nothing!"</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>If anyone is curious, Huni, Kovi, and Ed are the OCs (or Hazsona's) of Ashley, Michael, and…Ed. Same goes for Elsie's character and Kellen.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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